🎄 CHRISTMAS, THE PERFECT OCCASION TO LISTEN (IF YOU ALLOW IT)

At Christmas, we basically have more free time, and it's a perfect opportunity to take a break—just a little bit!—if you're not used to doing that, it's better than nothing.

I know you've probably filled your schedule with social commitments on your days off, and there's nothing wrong with that. It's just that those commitments often have a purpose beyond their own, which would be to see those friends and spend time with them: disconnecting from what I feel and that I don't know how to deal with.

And believe me, I don't blame you because it's normal not to want to look at what's happening to you if you don't have the tools to manage it. Therefore, the first step and my first invitation will always be:

✨- START A THERAPEUTIC PROCESS

In therapy, we'll be able to discover what you're feeling and what it's asking you for. Just like when your stomach hurts because it's asking you to eat better, to eat, or to stop eating. Or when your eyes close because it's asking you to go to sleep. We'll do all of this with patience and at the pace you need.

If you think this is your case and, as I said, part of your social commitments this Christmas are meant to distract you from your unpleasant feelings of fear, emptiness, rejection... I invite you to actively find time to sit down in front of a blank page and delve deeper into what I'm going to show you below.

I know this is very confronting and that a part of you will ask you to put it off forever, but find ways to make it easier or more feasible for yourself, negotiate with yourself.

For example, if your "excuse" is: I have 20 minutes before I have to meet up with my friends, but I don't want to have to worry about everything right before I leave, don't do it! Go easy and find those 20 minutes when you get back, before you go to sleep, before you shower, but find them.

Once you have managed to sit down with that blank sheet of paper, do the following:

➡️ 1. Close your eyes and take 10 deep breaths. Let go of any thoughts that may come to you, observe them, and don't resist them or follow them; just let them come and go.

➡️ 2. Look at yourself in any reflection or simply speak to yourself in a low voice and thank yourself for taking a few minutes to focus on yourself. In the future, when you're feeling better, you'll see clearly that starting here was essential, even if you only spend three minutes sitting in front of the sheet of paper on your first day: no successful person (athlete, entrepreneur, artist, etc.) has ever achieved success on the first try. Not on the first, not even the fourth.

➡️ 3. Let's go from the outside in: from the sensation in the body to the belief. Although this is much better done in therapy, here's something to get you started:

🌷 A. Close your eyes again and allow yourself to connect with the sensations in your body, even if they're unpleasant. Maybe a lump in your throat you've been trying to ignore? Maybe a knot in the pit of your stomach?

A pressure or emptiness in your chest? Let them be, let them be. You'll finally hear them. Locate them in your body, pay attention to them, and name them quietly (the sensation and where it is). And don't worry, you can disconnect whenever you want and continue with your inertia. It's normal to do so; the world today is very focused on stealing your attention so you're distracted from your true essence.

🌷 B. Once you've done this, choose the one you most want to listen to and focus on that one as much as you can. Now ask yourself: what emotion is it? I suggest five options that are the fundamental or primary emotions: FEAR, SADNESS, ANGER, GUILT, SHAME/self-rejection.

🌷 C. You've already done what most people don't do—congratulations. Once here, open your eyes, pick up the pen or pencil, and allow that emotion to express itself, without judgment. Write and write without holding it back. If you get angry and want to press the pen harder against the paper and write big, do it. If you're sad and your writing is small and lacking strength or energy, that's okay. Everything is okay because it's what had to happen. Every emotion has its own energy and is perfect for its resolution.

🌷 D. Finally, speaking of resolution, I'm going to give you some questions for each emotion, so you can delve deeper into what you're feeling. I emphasize that all of this is easier and more personalized in a therapy process.

- FEAR: What danger am I perceiving? What's beyond my control? And what is? What specific aspects of myself can I rely on to resolve this situation? In what past situations have I felt fear and ended up proving to myself that I could?

- RAGE: What is the injustice? What boundaries do I want to set? What is my responsibility in this situation, and what can I do to change it?

- SADNESS: What is the loss I need to accept? What am I truly missing? Is it someone else's or something of my own that I've been projecting onto the outside? What can I do that I can rely on to comfort myself?

- GUILT: What mistake have I made? Who considers it a mistake? Do I agree? If I think it's necessary: ​​What do I need to learn from this situation? What do I want to forgive myself for? What would it feel like to view my "mistake" with compassion?

- SHAME/SELF-REJECTION: What judgment am I making of myself in this situation? How do I feel after judging myself? What parts or aspects of myself am I rejecting? What do I need and want to accept about myself?

 

🌿 After this exercise:

- close your eyes and take another 10 deep breaths,

- Thank yourself again for the time you've taken and remind yourself of those feelings (which you probably still feel to a greater or lesser extent) that they are important to you and that you will continue to pay attention to them at another time, but that you no longer need them now.

- Open your eyes, connect with your surroundings, engage your five senses, and stay present for at least 30 seconds. What you just did is the best Christmas gift you could give yourself, essential to begin healing and promoting better mental and physical health for your future. Otherwise, all you'll do is cover up and cover up.

And what's certain is that if you don't listen to it, your body will scream at you in unpleasant ways, so congratulations on being so brave. 🌷

I remind you that I am always at your disposal, ready to accompany you on your journey.

A big hug and Merry Christmas.

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PSYCHOLOGY SERVICE

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